A start down a balanced path

I've been blessed with the opportunity of traveling the world. Living overseas for the last 10 years in the UK, Hong Kong and Beijing, I’ve had the chance to experience many things, visit exotic locations and meet many wonderful people. I’ve interspaced that with copious amounts of partying, flying all over the globe….the kind of decadent partying that you read about in tabloids, with champagne popping, free-flowing booze and beautiful people everywhere, decked out in the latest and hippest dresses and suits. This was my life up until recently.

I’ve always had a playful streak, even when I was a child and I guess that playful streak has continued with me right into early adulthood. I used to be one of those kids who would talk to anyone, never judgmental and always happy.

As I grew older, graduated from university and started a career in finance, I found myself caught up in the typical work stress and hedonistic lifestyle that accompanies the industry. I worked long hours and would look forward only to the weekends, where I would party like there was no tomorrow. This cycle continued for years. Progressively, I found myself becoming agitated and would flip-out at people that displeased me over the smallest things. I judged people not from the merit of their character, by how pretty they were or how many girls they could pick up.

I have to admit that they were fun times. When you’re caught up in this cyclic existence, you don’t realize it, but is one truly happy? Is life about work-partying-work-partying….repeated every week? Sure, you go out, have a good time but the next day, you always regret the amount of booze you’ve had the night before. Does the partying mean anything at the end of the day? Are you truly at peace with yourself? There comes a time when one asks oneself…what can truly make me happy? I’ve been thinking about this for the last few months, but it’s difficult to crystallize a thought when you’re still caught in the cycle.

Up until a month ago, I had been in Beijing, having just finished my mandarin course, looking for my path in life. I had planned to be based in Beijing looking for meaningful employment there as well as in Shanghai and Hong Kong. I went skiing on Saturday March 6th, just like many other Saturdays in my 22 years of skiing.
I was skiing happily on an easy black, well within the limits of my ability. Suddenly, as I was making a right turn, my left ski pops out of my boot. I’m sent hurtling into the trees. Time has a funny way of slowing down at a time like this. I remember looking up into the clear blue sky, as I whizzed past a snow cannon. From the corner of my eye, I could see the green of leaves and the light brown of tree trunks. At the speed I was spinning into the trees, I knew the impact was going to be bad. It was just a matter of how bad. In that instant, my perspective changed. I had never been hurt like this before. Never have I needed to contemplate on the fragility of life and how things can change so quickly.

The impact on the trees broke my metal ski pole clean in two. Thankfully, I escaped from that accident with just two of my knee ligaments torn. But it really goes to show that human life is fragile and delicate. I’m on crutches for the next 2 months, but what if I had hit my back?…I may have been paralyzed…or worse…

I have now completed my surgery and am in KL undergoing four and half hours of physical therapy a day. In a matter of seconds, the direction that I had planned for so long had to change. Life doesn’t always go to plan and all that can change very quickly. If our life ended tomorrow, would we be happy with what we’ve accomplished? Who have we benefited? I think this is a very important thing for us all to consider.

Now that I look back at it, my injury truly has truly been a blessing. It’s allowed me to take a step back to take a step back from a hectic lifestyle and think on the importance of the things I have been doing up till now. It is time-off that a lot of people do not have the luxury to do. I have been able to re-attach to my spiritual side and have been watching a lot of videos to try to find meaning and a more worldly-spiritual direction.

I have always labeled myself a Buddhist, right from the time my family converted from Catholicism when I was 13. I am only now truly beginning to understand what being Buddhist, and a better person in general means. It isn’t an easy or quick process to be a better person, but isn’t that what all of us strive for? Underneath the worldly pleasures we surround ourselves in…nice cars, nice apartments, pimp suits, grey goose bottles….we are all searching for happiness and meaning in our lives.

I’m 28 years old this year. The past few years have been a confusing time for me and I believe a lot of us. As I continue my journey for truth and happiness, I’ll make commentaries which I hope you guys will find helpful and entertaining! :D